The Shape of Things

This is the movie I caught on HBO Classic last night at about 9:00pm and got sucked into. The movie starred Paul Rudd from Friends and Clueless fame and a Charlize Theron look alike if she were about 10 years younger and a little rounder faced and shorter. (so i guess not like her that much at all.) And some other guy who looks familiar and usually plays asshole guys and did that in this movie as well.

Anyway, this movie was so bizarre. We missed the first 10 minutes or so and that might have hurt us, because for the first few minutes of my watching I thought Paul Rudd was playing a mentally challenged guy when in fact he was just playing a former overweight guy with insecurities. You'd be surprised how the two are similar.

Despite the bizarro-ness of the movie it sucked you in and was intriguing. Basically Paul Rudd was in this relationship with this woman who totally changed him through manipulation. He lost like 25 pounds, got contacts, wore cooler clothes and gained confidence. It turns out while he fell in love with this girl, she was just using him as a human art project. Of course there is a humiliation scene at the end of the movie when he finds out and it's all a little bit dramatic and fucked.

Speaking of Fucked...

How is it that Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise are dating? How did they even meet? My brother is convinced it has something to do with the Scientology. My question is if/when she brings him home to her childhood home in Ohio will she need to remove the "Teen Beat" posters of him from her bedroom?

The Nana Got Fucked....

I was so looking forward to THE NANA on The O.C., but alas a Presidential news conference usurped this much anticipated episode. Hopefully they'll show it next week. However there is nothing funnier than seeing a "serious" newscaster tell the viewing audience after his Presidential analysis, "up next The Simple Life, Interns." Takes away from his credibility, just a little.

The Bedazzler

I think that phrase was said so many times on The Apprentice that it now qualifies for inclusion into Webster's Dictionary if it is not there already.

My perspective was a little tainted because by accident I tuned into "Live TV" near the end of Apprentice and saw a quick peak of the boardroom when I meant to watch my recorded show.

It's amazing to me how everyone gets sucked into Alex's perspective only to regret it at the end as a losing team. Alex and Tana didn't even use their artist. They just told him what to do, didn't ask what he thought and they neglected to include any reference to Hanes' 50 years in the art work.

Despite Kendra often appearing immature and young, she really nailed it with the marketing idea. This is like the third time she's done this. First with Chelsea Piers, than the car catalog and now this. I would love it if it were her and Craig at the end. Not because I like Craig, but I would just like to see them bicker for an hour on the season finale. It was poetic justice, especially in light of last weeks "young lady" comment that Kendra beat Craig in the dogfight.

Spoiler Alert

The one thing that I did find annoying though is that even though Carolyn and George seemed fine with firing Tana, it was clear that Trump wanted to fire Alex and just found an excuse to do so. That whole "lie" thing was so contrived. Alex is a weak player, and Tana has performed better and deserves to be in the final three, but don't boot him on a made up lie. That's just weak.

Medical Students Make Mistakes

That seems to be the theme on all medical dramas these days. First the dude on Grey's Anatomy leaves a towel in a patient as a student and now Dr. Carter did the same thing on ER. Although it was nice to see Red Buttons show up again.

It Must Be Fixed!

Clearly I'm talking about American Idol.

Spoiler Alert.

I mean are you kidding me! How is HE not in the bottom three. Maybe it's all those white trash wife beaters out there with a dream to sing living vicariously through him. It's actually unbelievable. I could go on, but it will just make me more angry!

The next shocker, of course, was that Anthony was safe over Constantine. Now I don't think Constantine did a good job last night and definitely didn't appeal to the Idol voters, but c'mon look at the history people. Anthony was so expecting to go home that he put his glasses on to watch his goodbye video.

This episode shocker made up for the having to fast forward through another awful sing-a-long, a bad Ford commercial and Seacrest looking at Pamela Anderson's breasts.

It seems the person who took Constantine's send off the hardest was Paula. I mean the tears were just streaming down her face. Maybe the expose on Primetime Live will reveal not only was Paula sleeping with Corey Clark, but also Constantine. Did you see her consoling Constantines mom?

I may have to give this show up. Can Scott win this thing? I would say no, but how did he get this far? He is soooo Katie from RW/RR Challenge.

Lost Dupes TiVo...

and me too. I guess by adding the phrase "The Journey" onto the end of the title, TiVo thinks there is a new episode. I got all excited and then was duped. Pretty annoying!

Alias Questions

A bunch of questions after tonight's episode:

1. I feel no closure from last week. What happened to "Sloane the Clone?"
2. What happened to the Rimbaldi Ball? And the bloody dead guy?
3. I still don't remember how Nadia got to the orphanage, anyone?
4. I didn't even know there was another sister, did I miss something?
5. If Jack didn't remember getting the implants how did he know to take them out?

If You were an Ed Fan...

Check out Scrubs. Not only did "Ed" play J.D.'s older brother, but now one of the other characters is playing Elliot's boyfriend.

Things You Do When You're Married!

I'm being forced by my mother in law to tape that Rosie O'Donnell movie on CBS where she plays some mentally challenged person riding a bus. The fact that this movie will even play on one of my televisions is problematic. This should be enough of a Mother's Day gift.

Where do Anwar's Votes Go?

This is the ultimate question on American Idol. My thought process is that at this point, the same people are voting for the same idols. It is the votes that went to the last cast off that are up for grabs. Therefore my guess is that Anwar's votes go to the women and my prediction for bottom three is:

Anthony
Constantine
Scott "The Body"

Not necessarily because these people were bad, but because Carrie, Vonzell and Bo are just not getting voted off.

Once again I thought there was a lot of bad song choices. Most of the songs bored me and there were a bunch I didn't even know.

This time we were not just "blessed" with one of Paula's crazy looks and bad outfits, but we got to see Bo's RIDICULOUS shirt, Clay looking like he was 12 and Vonzell's pimped out family.

Despite Bo's appearance (I'll give him the sunglasses because it is so fucking bright in there) he definitely has the most rock star quality and I peg him in the final four.

Constantine's song was not only bad, but I don't think it will appeal to Idol voters. I wish someone would give his brother some Greek food to eat because that dude is scary.

Scott, oh Scott!! Despite wanting "another chance" I think this is the end of the road for you. You'll need a SERIOUS fan base to let you stay in the competition. Although I've seen stranger things happen...lead in to Amazing Race....

"I'm So Over India...."

I couldn't have said it better myself. Thank the lordy the contestants on The Amazing Race have moved on to another country. I was beginning to get claustrophobic. Maybe this is the reason that travel agents in India are open 24 hours, people just need to flee at all hours of the night. I couldn't believe that Sanjar was still hanging with Rob and Amber. Didn't he have a hotel to run?

So Rob clearly screwed himself and he deserved it. He brought his cockiness to a new level and I'm glad it bit him in the ass. Now don't get me wrong I don't want them to be eliminated, and I do like them on the show, but it was nice to see him get burned for once.

Not quite sure why Uchenna acquired an accent in Turkey while weighing people nor do I understand why weighing people is a tradition. I would like to institute a new drinking game. Everytime Gretchen says something resembling "Oh, Meredith!" a shot needs to be done.

Yet, noone deserves more props than Meredith. I couldn't believe she climbed the wall! I thought for sure that was her downfall. I had imagined Rob and then Ron just rushing right by her and her saying, "Oh Meredith!"

Spoiler Alert

I have to admit I knew it was a non-elimination, however I wish Ron and Kelly had gotten the boot. They are clearly going to break up especially since Kelly basically accused Ron of becoming a POW just to get out of his army commitment. They will definitely not be sharing that trip together. Even their hugs are estranged.

I hope at the pit stop when Gretchen sees Rob she says, "thank you, you little fucker!"

Too Old for the WB!

On tonight's episode of Everwood there was a reference made by a supporting character that in 1997 she was 9, um I was graduating college. Definitely a sign it may be time for me to move to CBS, the network for the elderly!

It was nice to see Delia back and do quite the acting job with the temper tantrum. She does get screwed with Ephraim getting all the attention, but I'm sure she'll have some drama soon given that she is in her room alone IMing people that her father has no idea about. There will be a "don't talk to strangers on IM" episode coming up shortly. One extra note on Delia, why isn't she in school? I didn't know painting your room got you a sick day. I should have tried that.

Dear Lord, Let Me Win This Challenge!

These words were uttered by our God loving Mormon Julie on Real World/Road Rules Challenge. You gotta love her. I would argue by her poor showing that the "Lord" let her down. Maybe she should go back to being her bad ass self. The days when she tried to kill Veronica on the high wire. By the looks of next week's episode Julie might have her chance.

Not clear on why all the "Bad Ass" women were wearing 1980's shorty shorts. I'm also not clear on why Brad thinks he has the wisdom with phrases like, "You will only lose to yourself." It does become more and more clear to me why these people don't have other jobs and this is all they can do.

It seemed to me that both Jodi and Veronica should have been good at the Inferno task given their love for the alcohol. With all the drinking that goes on the spinning should have been very easy to handle.

Trippin'

Not sure if anyone is watching this show, but I must share my distaste for Cameron Diaz and her friends. Whereas I find some of the places cool, I get my world fill on Amazing Race. I find her voice and her friends pretty annoying and I just don't feel like they are saving the earth.

Shout out to the Jews!

Just a few notes on tonight's episode of Grey's Anatomy. I did think it was a good episode and I like the back and forth and the dialogue however I laughed at the Orthodox Jews that were sharing the room with the guy who was waiting to have gas. It just seemed so random to see these Hasidic men with the payas and wearing tallisim sitting in the hospital room. Maybe it was a shout out to Passover.

I think Derek may have taken a little bit of advantage of Meredith as she is always pushing him away, but now that she has downed a bottle of tequila she was quick to jump in the backseat.

That hockey dude was a little bit of a freaker. Who flies across the country and then is like I'll call you and walks away? Just a little too random for me and clearly sets up the soon to be relationship with her and the arrogant dude.

Slow TV Night

Given the slow TV night I wanted to make you aware of an atrocity that has occurred in the television world. Cookie Monster has modified his attitude toward cookies. This is ludicrous. The dude is COOKIE monster. Not healthy dessert monster, or sometimes cookie monster or fruit and cookie monster...COOKIE MONSTER. Now he is teaching children that cookies should be consumed in moderation and that they are for "sometimes" not "always." That's bullshit! Who doesn't love cookies?

What's next...Oscar the Grouch is going to be "occasionally down, but generally happy," to promote happiness in children.

This is an outrage! Check it out...

Cookie Monster Sell Out

TiVo Led Me Astray....

I realize I am the only one that still watches ER, but there is some sort of comfort in watching a show that has been on so long and you sort of know what to expect.

Last nights episode, which TiVo thought was a repeat and didn't schedule to record, had the regular elderly abuse, hunger strike and a few romantic interludes. Plus, as always, there was one big dramatic "medical moment" that you wanted to turn your head away from. This time it was an eyeball popping out and than putting it back with a paper clip.

If it wasn't for the Apprentice, and the continuous promotion of an all new ER episode, I would not have known to set the recording.

It was nice to see that the boy from Kate and Ali got a job. However he is such a man boy. It is clear by his body that he is an adult, but his face is just that of a 12 year old kid. This has most likely had a part in not realizing his Hollywood dreams. For those of you who didn't watch he had a guest appearance. Fear not, he will not be a regular!

Great American Hero

By this I mean Ryan and Marissa on The O.C. not the dude that played the Irish lawyer. It's nice to see our "walking on air" hero is back to work. My one question is what happens when Ryan and Marissa go back to school? It's clear they ratted the dealer out. Clearly they won't be getting into anymore O.C velvet rope parties. I long for those high school days filled with bouncer run parties with a guest list and a velvet rope. Oh wait that never happened in New Jersey.

LOOVED the 21 Jump Street reference. This was a real throwback to high school. Although why would Seth want to be Richard G. he was the guy who ruined the show. He should have picked the Asian dude, only because it would have been funny and Seth like.

Poor Summer who is falling into Zach's wily ways of outsmarting Cohen to get Summer back. We thought Zach was just a little pansy who went to Italy, wore a Vespa Helmet and had a make believe girlfriend. But alas, it is all part of the master plan. He's really an evil villain...how comic book like.

Was also happy with the haircuts of the week. Ryan's looked good but Carter's looked better. I'm happy with the beard and shorter "Clooney" cut. Gave him more of an edge and didn't make his nose stick out so much.

The Caleb-Julie relationship if you can call it that is a little too Dynasty for me starting last week with the gun. I'm sure we haven't seen the last of the Porn King.

The rumor on the street is that the actor who plays Caleb has a new gig so he may be leaving the O.C and that Oliver makes a return for the season finale. Looks like the excitement is not over.

Next time Ryan should wipe the blood away from his nose before putting the moves on Marissa.

Any Show the Fixes Clutter is My Kind of Show

Spoiler Alert

I have to say that I was surprised Bren got the boot on The Apprentice. Going into the boardroom I thought it would be Alex since Trump liked Bren too much. I agree that Bren wasn't hungry enough and Alex just made a better case. I liked that they both stood up for their product. However you can stand up for your product and recognize flaws like the baskets not rolling out. I guess Tana was right at the beginning that Bren was a "real zero."

I have to admit though when Alex did the drawing of the desk I really didn't get it and thought it would be too high of a ticket item. I also don't understand how Alex and Bren never stepped into a Staples store it was ludicrous. Have they learned nothing on this show!

Definitely do not understand how Alex thought everyone loved the presentation, I mean did you see the faces of the people in the presentation. These were not faces of love. I have some reservations about his lawyering ability. I hope he is not a trial lawyer, as I would not want him "reading" people that held my future in their hands.

I was surprised to learn that Alex was not only a super skier but that he studied Rabbinic literature. However, I don't think that studying in Israel alone is such a risk, but that's just me.

I do hope that the friendship between Alex and Bren was genuine. It seemed slightly so in that it seemed that Bren just didn't want to go after Alex. He wasn't aggressive at all and threw out that awful sentence of not liking risk. He had to know right than that he was over. Who says that and stays in the game?

Of the four that are left I'm rooting for Tana. Even though she comes out with some dingers and can be annoying I think she is the most qualified. Alex is a dud. Don't get me started on Craig with his "young lady" comment. Seriously, if I was in a working environment and someone said that to me I might punch them in the face. And Kendra, I'm just not sold on her. There is just something about her that I do find slightly childish and not well seasoned.

One final Apprentice note. Did anyone catch a glimpse of the picture in Donald's office. He had a framed picture of, HIMSELF. Not with anyone, not like a family shot. Just his head. Look for it next week as I'm sure there will be some sequence of Donald in his office congradulating himself on something and telling some random executive how much he likes their products.

Always the Same Shows

I know I always talk about the same few shows but I do watch other things too. However this week I forgot to tape Scrubs, Joey, and Will & Grace. This will leave me things to talk about over the summer....Reruns!

Smart, Specialty Professors Watch Out!

This seems to be the theme on Alias. First it was Christian Slater as a California scientist and now it's this woman who looks familiar, but can't quite place her. Dumb, regular people you are safe, the evil-doers of the world can do without you.

Again another good episode with some twists. I wasn't quite sure how Jack was so easily convinced not to kill Sloane. He told Sloane to give him one good reason not to kill him. Sloane mumbled some nonsensical stuff and Jack backed off. I thought Jack was more of a bad ass.

Don't know how "Arvin Clone" got all the Rimbaldi documents and I'm still amazed on how Rifken and Grey (the two sloanes) look remarkably a like in an eerie sort of way. I still think the original Sloane often resorts to creepy child molester lurking guy when I think he is supposed to be acting only slightly creepy.

The big floating ball thing wasn't that cool to me because didn't they have that a few season ago that exploded with water and almost killed Vaughn?

I'm not convinced that Sloane is so surprised by his clone and that this is all a set up for Sloane 1 to get back to Rimbaldi and pull the old switch-aroo. Until next time....

We have our new Katie!

For those of you who have not watched the Real World/Road Rules Challenge in the past that is a reference to Katie who was constantly thrown into "The Gauntlet" and always survived. This is the same thing that seems to be happening to "Scott the Body" on American Idol.

If you recall from my post last week, the results show should only be watched on TiVo. Let me recap my American Idol experience:

1. Simon wore the exact same Gap T-Shirt that he always wear (Fast Forward)
2. Seacrest Videography (zzzzzzzzzzzz---Fast Forward)
3. Group Sing-Along (zzzzzzzzzzzz---Fast Forward)
4. Paula stands up, applauds, shows off outfit from the thrift store (gawk, laugh, fast forward)

Spoiler Alert

5. Surprised Scott is in bottom three (don't get me wrong he belongs there, but not based on last night.)

6. Anwar goes home. Not surprised he was in bottom three but surprised he went home.

One last note. I think when you get kicked off the show you should get to sing whatever the hell you want. Or at least any song that you've sung. Thank god they put this show back at a half hour.

Edelson Out!

Awful Awful Awful Movie!

I was walking by the movie theatre and given the humidity of the day thought I would see what was playing at that moment. Luckily (or so I thought) Palindromes a movie I had wanted to see based on the review in Entertainment Weeekly , was playing in five minutes.

Seriously this could have been the WORST movie I have ever seen in my life. It was so incredibly awful. I had no fucking idea what was going on. At some points the main character was a 6 year old child or a 400 pound black woman or a 13 year old white chubby girl. All she wants to do in life is have a child so she has sex constantly and at one point shacks up with a child molester. As if this weren't bad enough she then gets involved with this Jesus cult where there are like 13 kids with all sorts of deformities (one with no arms) praising Jesus.

Why didn't I walk out? I thought maybe this would all resolve itself and I would have a clue as to what was going on but alas this did not occur and I wasted an hour and a half, $10.50 and ate a bag of stale popcorn. Maybe I'm too stupid and I didn't understand the symbolism, but this movie was just plain fucked up. PLUS, there wasn't even a movie playing when I finished that I could sneak into that would make up for this atrocity.

This is the second or third time EW has led me astray recently, I'm pissed!

AY! Again with the song choice!

In the opening sequence of American Idol Ryan Seacrest said that if the sound check was any indication the night would be high energy. Well rehearsal isn't always a good indication of what's to come. I would love to see the lists the idols choose from because I have to tell you their choices suck!

Let's break it down:

Constantine: First off the makeup, specifically the raccoon eyes. Again, where is the shows stylist? His song was long, boring, flat and seriously could not take my eyes off his eyes it was so distracting. To top it all off, the shot of his family...his father was a dead ringer for Lurch from the Adams Family. Constantine was back to creeping me out.

Carrie: I thought she was awful and seriously feel like Randy is borrowing some of what Paula is drinking for him to say she was awesome. She too was a victim of the "stylist." I totally agreed with Simon on her Barbie/Stepford wife look. After her last two performances, one of which was from the King and I, she should be in the bottom three.

Scott: Not sure who referred to him as "Scott the body," but can you never do that again. I have to admit, begrudgingly, that he was one of the better ones of the night (some pitchiness.) Although seriously, Paula, sit down.

Federov: Bad song, bad moves, okay haircut. See you in the bottom three.

Vonzell: She rocked the house. Paula thought she was so good that not only was she dancing but she moved away from the table and was in her own dancing space. Not only was Vonzell's performance good but I loved the shot of her family or maybe they were her bodyguards. Simon you better watch out!

Anwar: He was okay. I could see him or Constantine rounding out the bottom three.

Bo: I didn't know the song. I felt he did an okay job. I do believe he is the most marketable out of the bunch although not the best singer. I would give him some leeway though because those damn lights were so distracting how could he sing up there let alone not cover his eyes and fall down?!

As always Paula was out of control with her clapping, compliments and dancing. One time I would like Randy or Simon to just say "sit down for pete's sake." Her audience instigating has gotten old and a few times I think she was so sauced that she had to lean on the table for support.

Nice to see that the producer's didn't spend so much time on the song graphics however the pre-clip "dancing" was awful, please don't ever do that again.

Mad Props to Joyce!

Not only did she look great on The Amazing Race with her head shaved and despite a slow crying start took it like a champ. I think she might have been the only team member to go through with it. Although how pissed would she have been if they came in second. I wonder what the time difference was. Probably a lot more than they showed.

Based on the amount of people in Locknow and the craziness of the streets I felt like finding "Platform 2" at the train station across the street was a challenge in itself. Plus I have to tell you if I was sleeping on that train and the walking zombie woke me up I would have freaked out on his ass before he would have the chance to give me the clue. That guy was scary.

As much as I like Gretchen and Meredith and am glad that they get to stay in, I have to say that Gretchen is the biggest complainer ever and rarely does anything. Last week she gave up after looking in one box for the clue and today she jumps in the elephant and makes poor Meredith push another 100+ pounds. I thought the dude was going to drop dead with a coronary. She just bosses him around. How they beat SPOILER ALERT - Lynn and Alex is beyond me. I was totally fooled by the editing.

It's nice to see that Nike isn't the only ones to perpetuate child sweatshop labor. Did you get a load of all those children pushing those elephants? With all the people in Locknow who were so happy to get autographs last week and to be on TV you would have thought more would be pushing.

If you have TiVo, and I'm not sure why you wouldn't, I hope you had a chance to rewind on the Indian gay couple that Gretchen liked to laugh and point at. One of them was a dead ringer for Rob, all he needed was a Boston hat.

Now that Ron/Kelly, Rob/Amber are such good friends I wonder if the southern duo make the Romber wedding. I'll be looking for them in attedance on May 24th when I watch the two hour special. I have to say I can't imagine the colonel and beauty queen made it much past their tenure on the race as next week she starts mocking his POW status.

Well the final four look pretty tough. You would think the "token old couple" gets eliminated next week, but you never know.

I guess I should mention the elimination. I'm okay with it. They were starting to wear on me and they had too much hate for Rob and Amber so ultimately they had to be eliminated. Which means next week is probably a non-elimination round since we've only had one.

One last note. Did you catch that guy on the mat with Phil? Yowsers! Sort of Wizard of Oz meets I don't even know, except, WOW!

"Everwood" lived up to the hype!

For the most part I thoroughly enjoyed tonight's episode. I could have done without the other story lines since the Ephraim/Madison/Andy dialogue was so compelling, but I guess the writers wanted a little variety since it had been so long since we had seen our Colorado friends.

It's not that I didn't like the other storylines it's just they weren't as good. It was nice to see the guy from The Brotherhood of Poland New Hampshire get another gig. For those of you who don't know that was the father who shot his son. Due to the quick cancellation of that show I think I might have been the only one that watched. Although, I would like to say it was quite good and I was/still am sad that it is no longer on. One last note on the "other" storylines. I was relieved the kid wasn't brain damaged or whatever b/c I think we have had enough of that in Everwood and that would have been slightly annoying between Colin, the stroke guy etc.

Anyway back to the real issues at hand - Madison and Ephraim.

I thought the acting was great. I was surprised that Madison had the baby and was also a little surprised that she didn't sell Andy down the river. Ultimately I am not sure what her motivation in telling Ephraim was, as it seemed it was only to show him he was an adult and could talk about real things. Or maybe to get back at him for saying basically it was because of her he could be in love with Amy and have a better relationship.

I do believe Ephraim had a right to know about the pregnancy but in some ways maybe it was too late, because now what are his options? Is Ephraim going to try and get the kid back? Now that Madison's show (the actress has another tv show in the works) was cancelled she has lots of time to return to Everwood. Ultimately Ephraim is going to find out that Harold, Amy, the neighbor and really the rest of Everwood knew and that is going to continue the downward spiral. Because without Julliard he really has nothing except teach piano for a living to the kids in the neighborhood. Or he'll move in with Bright which will be quite the situation, they could get their own spin-off.

What do you people think (anyone reading this blog that is)? Should Madison have told Ephraim? Should Andy have told Ephraim he knew or let Madison be the scapegoat? Should Bright have thrown out the items that were expired even if they smelled good? That one is clear; things have a date for a reason. If it expires the trash it goes...BOO-YA!

It's a Fuckin' Game!

Not only do the people on RR/RW Challenge need to get real jobs, they need to get a life. The only reason the Bad Asses are pist is because they didn't think of the switch-a-roo first. This I don't understand as I thought of it weeks ago and never understood why it didn't happen. Why the Good Guys even really discussed it though was beyond me, as they should have kept that as their strategy moving forward. Not only do they suck as a team physically, intellectually they got nothing going on as well. Really they don't know what strategy is as exhibited by the task when the people not participating weren't even helping those that were.

My three favorite quotes of the night:

1. Veronica - "They actually out-smarted me." As if this was something unfathomable. This is a girl who spends her entire "career" on MTV. I would say outsmarting her is about as easy as turning on the television and finding an episode of The Real World on.

2. Abram - "Pain is worth $10,000." Dude you are such a man! I mean you would do this shite for free as long as you were on television. You get free booze; free place to stay and if you play your cards right maybe you'll get to be part of another threesome.

3. Tonya - "The three girls don't respect me." Um Tonya, NO ONE respects you. From your wining Real World days to your challenge bitchiness you have no friends. It's just you and your implants.

I am a little disappointed that there are not enough action/challenges this time around. And as always with the Inferno I miss Johnny Mosely. I know from the Reunion Show that things didn't work out between Landon and Shavonda (as if they would. c’mon does it ever) but I thought at least there would be some interaction between them but there seems to be none.

One last note what was the deal on "the bet" between The Miz and Jodi. It was as if The Miz could say I bet you won't have sex with me and than of course she would b/c she doesn't want to lose a bet....

The worst part about this episode is that I watched it in real time rather than on Tivo which means I had to sit through10 minutes of actual show and 20 minutes of MTV promoting itself through its commercials.

Until tomorrow (AI, Amazing Race and possibly more....)

Where have all the children gone?

That's my big question for tonight's episode of Desperate Housewives. Now normally the children don't bring that much to the table, however when Susan's mom is carrying on for days slutting it out or Lynette is back and forth from her house to the neighbor's where are all the kids?

You could argue that with Lynette her twins are in school but don't forget she has that baby that we never see. In essence she has the same baby Rachel and Ross had on Friends.

I'm beginning to think that Desperate Housewives should be entitled "weak and manipulative women." Now I don't mind the latter so much, but the show is starting to show woman in a very poor light. I was starting to get annoyed with Susan's foibles, clumsiness and ditziness. It was too much and too ridiculous. Now they just bring in her mom to be the same way.

I like Lynette, but her storylines leave a lot to be desired. She was this powerhouse woman who chose to leave her career and instead of still being a strong powerhouse woman they make her into this "lost puppy."

If it is true that Brie's son is not gay or that he's bisexual the twist in the story is somewhat interesting as I am over the son coming out parents not accepting thing. We did that already circa Jack in Dawson's Creek. Somewhat interesting that he went to the sworn to secrecy priest but ultimately doesn't make that much sense.

I believe the best line of the night was Brie at dinner with Rex, Andrew and the clergyman. Questions of the night remain:

1. Shouldn't Carlos be in jail already? Two episodes ago it was "the next day."
2. What happened to Rex? Shouldn't he be dead by now taking that wrong medication?
3. Were Mike and Deidre ever together? Is he Zack's father?
4. Will John ever call Gabrielle by her name? In the middle of sex does he yell out, "Mrs. Solice."

Despite the "eh-ness" of the episode, I did like the last line about humans not being meant for loneliness.

Speaking of Loneliness...

I feel bad for the awkward George on Grey's Anatomy, he really is the sister.

Overall I really enjoyed the episode. I like that dynamic of the three women; Izzie, Meredith and Dr. Yang. I feel like Izzie and Dr. Yang are both extreme's of who they are whereas Meredith is in the middle and sort of fuses them together. I did enjoy Izzie becoming less weak this episode and really standing up for herself and than conversely Dr. Yang showing real human emotion. They were both pulled from their extremes slightly.

Not sure what I would do with regards to 5-10 years of life with no real memory or 3-5 with my memory intact. It's a tough decision.

I wonder if Meredith's father is still alive...

Tomorrow there is a big Everwood episode on which is getting a lot of good buzz especially since they have been on hiatus for so long. Check back in tomorrow night for some recap.

Friday Night Television Break

Since there are very little things I enjoy watching on Friday nights (although lets be honest I really would watch anything,) I went to the movies to see Fever Pitch. Is it cinematic genius, no. Is it a fun, date night out, yes. Even though reliving the Yankee monstrous collapse of last fall is a little heartbreaking it's a light, funny, feel good movie. A few moments are a little slow with a few jokes falling flat. If I were grading it I would give it a B+. Had it not been so late (12:25am) I would have snuck into Millions, but I didn't feel like getting home at like 3:00am. This was also a good movie to bring my husband to as he is OBSESSED with fantasy baseball so there was something for everyone.

What's on my nightstand?

In addition to the movies and television I've been reading a lot lately. Some books and authors I thought I'd let you know about:

Jodi Picoult: I've just discovered this author and have become a big fan. Her book My Sister's Keeper is an ethically charged story of a 13 year old girl suing her parents for medical emancipation so that she no longer has to be a donor for her cancer ridden sister. Each chapter is told from a different character's perspective and it really makes you start thinking about what a parent would do for a dying child at the risk of themselves and their other children. It also brings up all sorts of other interesting debates about the maturity of the 13 year old and the ethics of creating a child for the sole purpose of being a donor for a sibling.

As a result of liking the one book so much I picked up her latest book, Vanishing Acts. In this novel a 30ish year old woman finds out that her father who she has known all her life and who lived with her now kidnapped her as a child and her mother was still alive despite believing she was dead.

Truth and Beauty: I just finished this book this afternoon. It's by Ann Patchett. A true story of her long friendship with another writer, Lucy Grealy. It is a touching tale about a growing friendship however I was a little disappointed. EW gave it a really good review, enough that I went out to get it but I was a little bored at parts. The one interesting thing about the book was the idea of relationships and the role each individual plays in the relationship.

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly: A good friend just lent me this book and it is a quick read. The topic though is super crazy. This guy who used to be the editor of the French Vogue had a massive stroke and was left with something called Locked In Syndrome. Basically he was completely paralyzed with the exception of being able to slightly move his head and blink (although my husband says wink) one eye. He had all of his mental faculties so that is why he is "locked in." In any event he winked this entire book based on a code that was thought up. I found the book sort of blah as it was his observations, thoughts etc but the idea that he winked the whole thing was incredible.

Prep: The lie is that this is not on my nighstand right now, I actually returned it. I was forced to read this book for my bookclub. I was pretty much bored the entire time reading about the main character's four years in prep school. There were like two good visually stimulating moments but for the most part I couldn't even envision the main character growing up and it was very frustrating to me.

Get Back to Basics

This is my feeling on The O.C. Even with Tivo this episode felt like it was two hours long and not in a good way. It was full of cliche's like "believe in yourself when no one else does," predictability, and ridiculousness. Did anyone really think Julie was going to kill someone or that Summer wasn't going to find out about Reed?

As always I have a few questions:

1. When will Marissa and Trey hook up?
2. When will Carter get rid of the sideburns and go back to his cutie Once & Again look?
3. How many people silently counted four syllables for Hap-py Birth-Day?
4. Why don't the Cohen's just hire a chef it would be cheaper than take out?
5. When will Kirsten be checking into rehab or start going to AA meetings?
6. Who tips the UPS guy? Did you see the guy who delivered the package have his hand out for a tip?

Even though I don't believe Trey gave the girl the drugs and was just trying to help Marissa since she helped him so much I also don't believe his giving money to the homeless parole story. His friend who was in jail too "disappeared" isn't that called breaking parole?! Therefore wouldn't the cops go and pick him up, not just drive Trey there to give him money. And what "homeless" guy comes out of a house. For someone who is supposed to be an honors student, Ryan is not the brightest.

Few last notes. No showering seems to be a theme for television these days because Kirsten was needing one. Did you get a load of her hair, it was in need of a de-greasing in a few shots. Oh and FYI guys, girls like the skank that was seducing Trey don't exist.

You think he'll stay out of trouble...?

Judging by his recent arrest, I believe Chris did not live up to his promise to The Donald on The Apprentice.

Spoiler Alert!

I was a little sad to see Chris go though because I will miss the tobacco rage and the outbursts. It looked like even George was shedding a tear as the boardroom door closed.

For the record I HATE those fake conversations that The Donald has every week with various executives where he ultimately just plugs himself. These interactions are almost as bad as the boardroom voiceovers.

My favorite quote of the night was in the presentation when Alex was asked his favorite part about his brochure his reply was "the shape!" Um, correct me if I'm wrong but it was a RECTANGLE. That's all he could come up with. I used to be an Alex fan but he sucks.

My second favorite quote was Kendra with "I'm like a girl who just had sex..." Now my question is why wouldn't she say I feel like I have just had sex. I think we have determined that Kendra is a virgin. I wonder if this will come up in her final four interview.

My two favorite looks of the night. The first is Craig's trying to avoid getting picked. The rolling of the eyes was just classic. I wish one time when a person is being chosen from the other team that they would give me a little, "Red Rover Red Rover please send Bren right over." (swinging their arms of course.)

The other was Craig's entire look. Not only did he really look like a Shoeshine Store owner but more specifically he looked like the kid from the Little Rascals.

As for the reward, yes it is cool playing with the losing Knicks at The Garden, but is doing suicides really a reward or more of a punishment?

Last two questions of the night:

1. What ever happened to Kelley (last year's winner)?
2. How many shots Trump have to take until he actually made it and the producers could edit that right in?

“…and she’s a best selling novelist…

Pamela Anderson. This is how she was introduced on Ellen today. Um, excuse me? Correct me if I’m wrong, but this is the same woman who was in Stripperella, Baywatch and Playboy. Given this resume I had to find out a little more about this “best selling” book.

“Star” by Pamela Anderson.
Description: Playful, bawdy, and curl-your-toes sexy, Star is a breathless romp through tinseltown and tabloids.

According to Amazon.com “Customer’s who bought this book also bought, “How to Make Love Like a Porn Star: A Cautionary Tale” By Jenna Jameson. I’m still laughing….

“The Holy Bible” Amazon.com Sales Rank: #1,665
“Star” Amazon.com Sales Rank: #8,856
“War and Peace” Amazon.com Sales Rank: #10,021


Talk about a “Pandora’s” Box!

For those of you who don’t get the reference that was the name of tonight’s episode of Alias.

As with all of J.J. Abrams’ shows I have more and more questions and am very intrigued about the two Sloane’s, how Vaughn is going to get back in the CIA, will Nadia and Weiss ever hook up.... Plus, I’m trying to remember why Nadia was given up in the first place.

Why would you watch this live?

Of course I am referring to the American Idol results show. To begin with, the fact that this was changed back to an hour is beyond preposterous. All I care about is who gets das boot. I don’t want to see them sing together and incidentally I don’t want the loser to sing at the end either. Now that it’s an hour I had to see the bottom three sing all over again, c’mon! You sucked, go home, game over!

We had to endure a recap of the daily schedule and more one on one interviews where the idols have NOTHING interesting to say and some of them and by that I mean Scott can barely speak the English language. I was hoping to never hear Mikalah Gordon’s voice again, but alas….

Just a friendly tip, using my friend Tivo (or for those of you stuck in the 80s your VCR) you can run through this in oh, approximately 15 minutes. Plus you should really spend your time watching Alias.

SPOILER ALERT for those who don’t know the results yet…

Questions that I have:

1. Who is voting for Scott? Seriously who are you? Own up!

2. If there is a stylist on the show why does Scott always look so bad? In one clip he was wearing a sweat suit. Plus Constantine could have at least showered.

3. Has Federov gained like a 100 pounds since he started this contest?

I was sad to see Nadia go as I’ll miss her hair, not the Mohawk as much as the earmuffs/Princess Leah look. However it’s nice to see that chivalry is not dead. Did you see Seacrest give Nadia his tie to wipe away the tears?

Comments
I know my thoughts/posts are long. I’ll try to keep them as manageable as I can. If you want to comment just click on the comments link at the end of each post and add your thoughts.

"You're the One to Beat..."

How many times does Paula Abdul shout this out during an episode of AI? Seriously what is her deal she is out of control with the clapping and the dancing and rarely ever has anything of substance to say. And it was clear more than ever today that all she is really looking for is validation from Simon. When he agrees with her what does she do, she jumps up and down. Although I have to say at least she looked somewhat normal today she has had some real styles going on.

To recap, with the exception of Vonzell, Carrie and Constantine who normally freaks me out due to his stalkerish nature the rest of the "cast" can go home. I mean talk about song choice people....YAAAWN!! I used to not be a Vonzell fan but I think I'm on the bandwagon.

Now for the bad, Nadia as a singer she has been disappointing although the hair is always enjoyable. Today she had a mushroom thing going on which I thoroughly enjoyed. As for Scott the song "she's gone" should be changed to "hope to see you gone." As for the cutest kid I think this goes to Anwar, which slightly makes up for his Dionne Warwick song.

Best graphics of the night...Love is a Battlefield and the video tribute to Queen.

If You're Thinking of Having Children...

watch Medical Incredible on Discovery Health. This woman my husband and I know was just featured as a person who basically came back from the dead while giving birth. She had something called an amniotic fluid embolism. There is a 1 in 80,000 chance of getting this and the majority of people who do get it die. She miraculously came through this and she and the baby are fine.

Given the logic of life now that I know someone who had this and you "know" me AND if you watch it on television the chances of you having it are close to nill because what are the chances someone else you know gets this when the odds are so small to begin with.

Believe me, this logic works!

Why Doesn't Someone Steal the Tea?

That's my question on the Amazing Race. This doesn't relate to the other teams, but to the people of India which clearly by the amount of people show there are a ton! The carts are just sitting in front of the office for the taking.

Usually The Race makes me want to visit different places, however this was not a tourist commercial for going to India. I felt claustraphobic and hot just watching.

My other questions on the episode are as follows:

1. How many Boston Red Sox Hats does Rob own?
2. Still not clear on why a significant portion of India was cheering for the "token old couple"
3. How evil was Phil's face at the end?
4. How dumb are Ron and Kelly. I mean I know she is a beauty queen and all but how could they not "Yield" Romber (as the columnist from EW likes to call Rob and Amber.)

As a final note, I'm particularly sad that Brian and Greg got eliminated and weren't running through India in their swim shorts and winter hats.

Feeding the Obsession...

For a while now I've been pressured to provide my thoughts on all things entertainment specifically television given not only my obsession but my free time. Therefore I'll be adding some "watercooler" comments about what I watch when I watch it (I have Tivo, of course, so comments are delayed based on my viewing schedule.) Check back often because I watch a lot of television and have a lot to say. Enjoy!